A tennis quandary: Coach, parent or both?

Bernard Tomic and his father/coach John Tomic on the practice court. (Getty/Michael Dodge)

In tennis coaching circles, one of the most discussed topics is whether a parent can be a good coach for their child, should they just concentrate on being a parent, or can they combine both?

Even before stepping onto a tennis court, parents are tasked with providing logistical, financial and emotional support. They should be developing a positive environment, enabling their child to thrive and have effective communication with their coach. Another goal for the parent should be to create a sense of independence for the student. This alone is a substantial undertaking, so adding the coaching element can provide another level of stress for all concerned.

History is littered with examples of tumultuous relationships between a player and a parent playing the role of coach. Andre Agassi, Jelena Dokic, Bernard Tomic and Mary Pierce are just a few names that come to mind when we think of players associated with infamous tennis parents.

Reading Agassi's autobiography, he clearly has some strong feelings about the parent and player relationship. Whilst he recognised his father's love and the potential positive influence, he was also very clear about the dangers of an overbearing parent and that parents should allow children to make their own choices, adding that the child's wellbeing should be prioritised.

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On the flipside, there have also been success stories with parents coaching their children. Parents who have either coached their children through their junior years, on the professional tours or still travel with them in a mentor/support role include Andy Murray, Casper Ruud, Anett Kontaveit and Danielle Collins. Arguably, the most famous family-player relationship was Rafael Nadal and his uncle Toni. Although not his parent, the parallels are very similar.

At a recent tournament, I witnessed examples from both sides of the discussion. While I was there supporting my player, I observed many different relationships between parents and their children. At the conclusion of each match, you could see the different personalities and coaching styles. Some parents would yell at their child, telling them how badly they played, that they are wasting their time and their money if they are going to play that badly. You could see the child was visibly shaken. When watching them play, I could almost sense the trepidation and nervousness in the child's matches and felt sorry for the youngster.

On the opposite end of the scale, a player whom my student regularly comes up against was there with her dad. I ran into her father, and we got chatting. I asked him what time his daughter was playing, and he replied, "She’s on now".

She was playing on a court at the opposite end of the complex. I said I was sorry for keeping him as I'm sure he was keen to go and support his daughter. He said, "That’s fine, she will either win or she'll lose, and I'll be there to give her a lift home either way."

Later that same afternoon, I was playing 'classic catches' with my player. After a few minutes, the game had grown to include some 10-12 players. At one stage, the match referee had to ask the group to quiet down! One of the players later approached me asking if I could take over their coaching. This was a nice ego boost, and I was wondering if it was so I could help with her serve or match tactics, so I asked why she wanted me to give her lessons. Her reply: "I like that I never hear you talk about tennis! It always looks like your player has so much fun, and I want to be like that." That brought me back to earth quickly!

All these interactions and observations got me thinking of the parent as a coach and the child dynamic. Was it a coincidence that my player, who hadn't talked about tennis between matches, played against the girl whose dad, who wasn't watching her matches, was in the final?

Ultimately, I think it is up to each parent to work out what is best for their child. I have no doubt that every parent wants what is best for their kid, and as with developing a player's technique, there are many ways to go about it.

Whichever path parents decide to take, I think that by understanding their role and working together with the coach if they have their child by themselves, parents need to create a positive and supportive environment that encourages not only tennis development but personal development.

Play USA Tennis Pathways supports athletes who want to go down the college pathway, assisting players to get recruited to a college that meets their academic and athletic goals. If you are a player, parent, or coach and are interested in the college pathway in the United States, contact Lachlan Puyol at playusatennispathways@gmail.com