Jeremy Beale walked away from tennis. At 31, he's starting again

At 31, Jeremy Beale stood behind the baseline at an ITF tournament in Brisbane, preparing to serve.

His hands were trembling. It had been almost three years since his last professional tournament, and now he was back. 

But there was no protected ranking, guaranteed main draw, or shortcut back to where he had once been.

Beale was starting again in qualifying.

Comebacks are nothing new in tennis. At the top of the sport, established players can return in their 30s with the rankings, wildcards and finances to make another run possible.

Beale is doing it from the bottom.

And at an age when time is increasingly against him, he believes the years away may have given him something more valuable: the perspective to make the most of a second chance.

Burning it all down

On paper, Beale's first career was progressing.

He had cracked the world's top 500 in singles, and reached a career high of 224 in doubles—a number he was close to surpassing when he retired. 

But behind the rankings, Beale was struggling with the expectations he had placed on his career. 

"I put this insane amount of pressure on myself to do extremely well every week, singles and doubles," Beale told The First Serve.

"I had this thought in my head that anything less than like a semis in singles and a win in doubles was basically a waste of a week."

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Money was getting tighter, things weren't going well in his personal life, and injuries kept interrupting his career.

"I'd look at my finances every other week and then see it dwindling, and then my personal relationship; they were not great," he openly shared.

"I just thought that everything was crumbling."

Another injury was the final straw.

"I was like, 'Yeah, I'm done. Stop this.'"

And Beale didn't just walk away from tennis. He torched it.

"When I did quit, you would have never known that I played tennis if you didn't know me before, because I got rid of everything," he explained.

"All my tennis gear, almost all my trophies. I mean, my parents tried to keep some of them, but all the memorabilia and everything, just got rid of it all."

His attitude towards the sport he'd spent most of his life pursuing? "'Hate you. Don't want to ever see you again. Good riddance.'"

Giving himself a second chance

After such a bad breakup with the game, there was never a plan to come back. 

A work colleague had recently started playing tennis and, after discovering Beale's background, kept asking him for a hit.

Beale kept brushing him off.

Then one day, with some spare time before golf, he finally relented.

"It's almost like a full-circle moment because obviously he's at the start of his tennis career, and then I was at the end of mine," Beale said.

"It was just pure enjoyment, you know, having a laugh, having a giggle.

"It wasn't an instant, 'Oh, I miss tennis'. It was more of a, it planted a seed, and then that seed kind of grew over time."

Over the next three to six months, that built towards a full-blown comeback.

A different Jeremy

Beale isn't returning as the same player who walked away.

Perhaps the biggest change is that he now knows who he is without tennis.

"When I did leave, I really didn't know who I was off the tennis court," he said.

"I was like, all right, what do I want to do? I don't know what I want to do. There's no drive. I don't know where my life is in terms of which direction I should take."

Time away eventually allowed him to answer that question: "Who am I as a person? I am Jeremy Beale, not a tennis player."

It's a distinction that matters now that he's competing again.

Old tendencies haven't disappeared. Beale admits he is still learning how to deal with the pressure and racing thoughts that return when he steps onto a tennis court. 

"I'm very, very hard on myself," he admitted. "It's more so trying to get away from result-based stuff, which is really hard in tennis because that is what tennis is, right?

"But it's just knowing, even winning or losing, I'm actually moving in the right direction."

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Making an immediate impact on court

Which brings Beale back to Brisbane, standing behind the baseline with those shaking hands.

"I hadn't played qualies in ages, so it was a humbling experience," he said.

"I think the last time I did the sign-in and came in the day before the first day of the tournament was back when I was maybe 21, 22.

"I was okay until we started the first point, and then I'm grabbing the racquet, and I'm ready to serve; my hands [were] not stopping [shaking]."

He got through qualifying and his opening main draw match before facing Matthew Dellavedova, who ranked No.313 and had won 33 of his last 35 matches. 

Beale went a set and a break down, fought his way back and then began struggling physically in the third.

"I turned to Jasika because he's watching me. I'm like, 'Dude, I think I'm gonna cramp. I'm at the end of my rope'."

Beale won 4-6, 6-4, 6-3.

"I let out a huge roar, more so of relief and then excitement as well."

Beale eventually reached the quarter-finals, before qualifying again two weeks later at the Brisbane M15 and winning another main draw match.

Those early results, which included seven wins in nine matches, have him ranked No.1523 in the world.

It's also answered at least one important question.

"I actually know that my game is there," Beale said. "It always has been there."

Embracing the whole thing

At 31, there are different challenges than at the start of his career. 

Beale has arthritis in his right knee, which contributed to his retirement against Omar Jasika in Brisbane and is one reason he eventually sees doubles as his best path forward.

"If my body can handle it, and then on top of that mentally, if I can stay mentally there, present and in the moment, then it's not so bad," he said.

He's also chosen to document the comeback publicly, writing openly on Instagram about ego, pressure, perfectionism and the lessons from his first career.

"I wanted to document my journey, one for myself, but then also for the younger kids who don't really understand the ins and outs and the nuances of the tennis scene," he said.

"A lot of them just see what happens on TV and it's like, 'Oh, it's a glamorous life. This is cool'."

Beale knows the other side of professional tennis, and this time he is embracing the good and the bad. 

One more shot

The immediate goal is to get inside the world's top 1000 in singles before shifting towards doubles and trying to reach Challenger level.

But ultimately, Beale isn't measuring this comeback against a ranking.

"Long term isn't really too much in ranking or anything anymore," he confirmed.

"It's just knowing that I've done everything I possibly can, and then happily walking away from the sport."

The first time, Beale walked away wanting nothing more to do with tennis.

This time, he wants to eventually leave knowing he gave himself the second chance while he still could.

"It's more so just trying to keep a promise to a young kid, really," Beale said.

"If I can play one Grand Slam, then I can retire happy."

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