'They were feeling pressure': McEnroe's story and its comparison to the Hewitts

(Photo credits: Tennis Australia, Getty/Tim Clayton)

John McEnroe once told a story about what it is like to be a famous parent. Sitting in the stands watching one of his sons play basketball, he was quiet, a surprise to those who had spotted him there and who no doubt expected him to behave as he occasionally did on the tennis court.

Instead, he was calm, trying to be supportive without getting too involved.

"I get bottled up in a way," McEnroe told a small group of British newspaper reporters many years ago. "I used to take pride if my kids were playing basketball and I'd be there, and I wouldn't say anything. People were obviously expecting me to yell and scream at the ref and at them and everything, (but) I wouldn't say anything."

Inevitably, his patience only lasted so long. "One time one of my kids was at the free throw line," he said. "He was like (Novak) Djokovic in the old days. He was bouncing, bouncing, bouncing. I was like: 'Shoot the damn ball!'"

McEnroe's words came back to me a few times over the past few months, most notably when watching Cruz Hewitt take his first tentative steps on the Tour. While none of McEnroe's kids actually played tennis in a serious way, Hewitt always seemed likely to be a tennis player, following in the footsteps of his father, Lleyton, who won two Grand Slam titles, the Davis Cup and was world No 1.

Hewitt Sr has been an ever-present fixture in Cruz's development, and no one will have been prouder of him after he won his first ATP Tour match this week in Washington with a fine victory over the 85th-ranked Marcos Giron, having already shown fine form to come through qualifying.

Balancing coaching and being a parent is such a fine line. Many have struggled and some – think Damir Dokic, Jim Pierce – have stepped way over it. At some point, leaving the child to do their own thing with a different coach is best, but it can be tough. Former top players know what it's like to be on the receiving end, so maybe they're better equipped than most.

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Lleyton is not Cruz's official coach, but of course, he's heavily involved. I watched father and son closely at Wimbledon this year, where Cruz reached the junior boys' final, fascinated at how involved, or not, Lleyton was. For all the advantages in having someone of his status and experience on the side, it's hard to overstate how tricky it must have been and still is for Cruz to plough a path of his own, coping with the pressure and the endless comparisons.

Until Cruz wins a title, or in fact, until he wins a major, he will have to show enormous patience because he's going to be asked, continually, about what it's like to grow up the son of a champion, how much pressure it adds, how difficult it is to make a name for himself when he has the name of his father, how much advice Lleyton gives him.

It's also tricky for the parents, as McEnroe once said: "They [his kids] were feeling pressure because I wasn't saying anything. These are my kids, I thought I knew them. But I was also trying for myself. As long as they give a good effort, I'm good.

"[But] it's difficult. [What do you say?] 'Don't worry about it, you just double-faulted, you just played a really dumb point. Keep positive? That would annoy me as a player. You can just picture it. 'Be more aggressive.' 'Shut up, you don't think I know that, dumbass?'"

The Hewitts seem to have a good relationship, and Lleyton's general role is to offer encouragement. At Wimbledon, it was noticeable how he sometimes clapped just after general clapping had finished, something Judy Murray used to do, the idea being that Andy Murray would know it was her, rather than have her cheers get lost in the crowd.

I asked Cruz about this at Wimbledon, and he said he hadn't really noticed, but then, when he thought about it again, said maybe it was the case. Either way, Hewitt Sr makes himself known.

Everyone who's ever watched their child play sport, or perform anything on a public stage, knows it can be an enormously stressful experience. Former women's No 1 Lindsay Davenport knows the feeling; her son, Jagger Leach, is an aspiring young pro. Watching him, she admits, is tough.

"I like watching others," she said in a mixed zone at the French Open this year. "It's not easy. To see these parent coaches, it's pretty remarkable. Michael (Chang's) wife, Amber, is one of my best friends. Their daughter played yesterday. Michael told me after: 'I think I'm more proud of Amber. She sat there the whole match, handled it pretty well.'

"We all do our best. There are so many (children of former pros) right now that play, and we're always trying to talk to each other, like, how much advice you give, how much do you just be a parent; we're all trying to figure out how to get a ride."

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